riddler

The Monday Poll - Mary Sue and Gary Stu

Inspired by this post by Paperback Writer and discussions that arose from it.

For a definition of Mary Sue (and her male equivalent Gary Stu), you can go here.


Poll #907225 Mary Sue.

What do you think of Mary Sue stories?

I think they should be forever stamped out--stamped, stamped, stamped!
1(4.8%)
They are a natural part of the evolutionary growth of every fledgling writer, but hopefully we move on from them.
0(0.0%)
A little Mary Sue never hurt any story, as long as it doesn't pervert story values and become the dominant theme.
2(9.5%)
Any time a writer inserts even a small amount of wish fulfillment into a story, it's Mary Sueism.
0(0.0%)
Every writer slips wish fulfillment into their stories, it's just a matter of how skillfully they cover their tracks.
2(9.5%)
Mary Sue sucks, but Gary Stu's okay.
0(0.0%)
Trying too hard to avoid Mary Sue can lead to stories just as sterile as Mary Sue stories.
0(0.0%)
You can never try too hard to avoid Mary Sue.
0(0.0%)
I knew Mary Sue. Mary Sue was a friend of mine. You're no Mary Sue.
0(0.0%)
Last time I heard, she was dating Captain Jack Sparrow.
0(0.0%)
Mary Sue is so ticky.
0(0.0%)
Other (insert yourself in the comments)
0(0.0%)

Special bonus question: would you rather write a story that was loved, or one that was admired? (Yes, I know it's possible to do both, but no waffling allowed on this one.)

Loved
17(81.0%)
Admired
2(9.5%)
Decline to ticky.
1(4.8%)
riddler

The Monday Poll - True crime stories

Poll #902807 True crime stories.

True crime stories are...

morbid. I can't see how anyone could enjoy them.
0(0.0%)
mmm mmm mmm. My meat and potatoes.
0(0.0%)
too scary and gross. I don't like them.
1(6.2%)
aren't morbid. They're noir. The two are completely different.
0(0.0%)
the only true reality.
0(0.0%)
a giving into negativity.
0(0.0%)
a morality play warning us to watch our step.
1(6.2%)
fascinating glimpses into the human psyche.
3(18.8%)
darkly, utterly fascinating. You either get it or you don't.
1(6.2%)
only appeal to those who enjoy salaciousness and a break down in social order.
0(0.0%)
a chance to experience the dark side without getting your hands dirty.
0(0.0%)
a frank acknowledgement that the world is more dangerous than we like to admit.
1(6.2%)
headline-grabbing tickies!
0(0.0%)
Other (perpetrate in the comments)
0(0.0%)
riddler

The Monday Poll - New Year's Resolutions

Happy New Year everyone! May 2007 bring you many blessings.

Poll #898535 New Year's resolutions.

When it comes to New Year's resolutions, you can say this about me:

I always make them and always keep them.
0(0.0%)
I always make them but I rarely keep them.
0(0.0%)
I don't even bother to make them anymore because I know I won't keep them.
1(5.9%)
I don't call them resolutions. I call them "suggested life path alterations."
0(0.0%)
I don't call them resolutions. I call them "acknowledgement of guilt over holiday excess."
0(0.0%)
Huh?
0(0.0%)
I may not make resolutions, but I get the sense of starting the new year with a clean slate.
2(11.8%)
January 1 is just a number on a calendar.
2(11.8%)
Resolutions are for the little people. I vow to live my life in total, skull-crushing hedonism and arrogance.
2(11.8%)
I resolve not to make resolutions.
0(0.0%)
Does anyone know a good hangover remedy?
1(5.9%)
I will ticky more in 2007.
2(11.8%)
Other (resolve to speak in comments?)
0(0.0%)
riddler

The Monday Poll - Holiday shopping

Since next Monday is Christmas, I think the poll will be on hiatus next week. Here's the last one for the year. Happy holidays, ya'll.

Poll #891184 Holiday shopping.

Holiday shopping is...

a blood sport, best undertaken by adrenaline junkies
1(4.3%)
one of life's grand adventures
0(0.0%)
one of those obligations that must be gotten over with
0(0.0%)
a way of life
0(0.0%)
a way of saying how much you love your friends and family
0(0.0%)
like a war campaign, complete with battle plans
1(4.3%)
a once lovely ritual that's gotten completely out of hand
2(8.7%)
best done online
1(4.3%)
like a ballet, only longer and more brutal
1(4.3%)
a psychological substitute for hunter/gatherer behavior
3(13.0%)
soylant green!
1(4.3%)
a tickyfest
1(4.3%)
Other (your two cents in comments?)
1(4.3%)
riddler

The Monday Poll - Happy Holidays

Maybe it was the stringing of the lights this weekend or making mini bacon potato frittatas for the potluck today (I have gone so suburban), but it's got me asking...

Poll #886577 Happy Holidays.

Which of these are absolutely necessary for a happy holidays?

presents, presents, presents!
0(0.0%)
chestnuts roasting on an open fire
0(0.0%)
quality time with family and/or friends
0(0.0%)
the perfect outfit
0(0.0%)
Jack Frost nipping at your nose
0(0.0%)
tons of gorgeous food
0(0.0%)
the perfect decorations, the perfect house, the perfect place settings
0(0.0%)
eggnog, with or without "Uncle Manny's secret ingredient"
0(0.0%)
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir
0(0.0%)
Uncle Manny's secret ingredient
0(0.0%)
the thrill of the hunt in shopping malls
0(0.0%)
the perfect present
0(0.0%)
tiny tots with their eyes all aglow
0(0.0%)
all the sparkly lights!
0(0.0%)
the smell of pine, and of baking cookies
0(0.0%)
mulled wine
0(0.0%)
remembering those in need, in prayer or deed
0(0.0%)
folks dressed up as Eskimos
0(0.0%)
merry tickying to all
1(7.7%)
Other (spread the cheer in comments?)
0(0.0%)
riddler

The Monday Poll - Weather

Poll #881704 Weather.

Oh, the weather outside...

is frightful.
1(8.3%)
is sunny, windy, dry, 70s (F).
1(8.3%)
has snow piled up to my wuzzamaroo.
1(8.3%)
is rain, dreary rain.
0(0.0%)
is like paradise, only nicer.
0(0.0%)
is summer in my part of the world.
0(0.0%)
is okay, until the butterflies start flapping their wings.
0(0.0%)
is a typhoon, but just a small one.
0(0.0%)
is balmy and mild, until the meteor showers hit.
0(0.0%)
consists of cats and dogs with intermittent rain of frogs.
1(8.3%)
has mild volcanic flurries with a possibility of heavy Apocalypse later tonight.
1(8.3%)
is a mystery. I never go outside.
0(0.0%)
is tickying all the darned time.
0(0.0%)
Other (precipitate discussion in comments?)
1(8.3%)
riddler

The Monday Poll - Families

Poll #876384 Families.

Families...

are the backbone of society
0(0.0%)
are the backbone of neurosis
0(0.0%)
are the only thing that matters in the end
0(0.0%)
are minefields
0(0.0%)
can be inherited or chosen
2(10.5%)
want what's best for you, as long as it's what they want
0(0.0%)
will be there for you when no one else will
0(0.0%)
can rip you up the most
1(5.3%)
can be a pain, but not having any is painful
0(0.0%)
are always dysfunctional, it's just a matter of degree
0(0.0%)
are contradictory and chaotic, just like life
1(5.3%)
are a rich source of subject matter
0(0.0%)
remind us that the most important thing in life is to love and be loved in return
0(0.0%)
are ticky
0(0.0%)
Other (propagate in comments?)
0(0.0%)
riddler

The Monday Poll - Rich and Famous

Happy pre-Thanksgiving, everyone.

Poll #871882 Rich and famous.

If I became rich and famous, I would...

tithe ten percent (or more) of my income to charity
0(0.0%)
buy myself a posse of sycophants to be obnoxious on my behalf
0(0.0%)
buy all my poor relations houses and/or cars
0(0.0%)
stage all the events in my life for maximum publicity value, such as the birth of a child or my wedding in Italy
0(0.0%)
use my fame and influence to stick up for the little guy
1(6.7%)
screw the little guy to get more fame and money
0(0.0%)
use my fame and influence to promote my religion/my cause/my politics
0(0.0%)
buy myself an island and build a compound on it
0(0.0%)
isolate myself in my compound and have "the help" screen all calls and visitors
0(0.0%)
buy myself a huge tract of land and build low-income housing on it
0(0.0%)
build myself a huge fricking mausoleum
0(0.0%)
name my child Apple or Scout or Moon Unit and explain to them, when all the kids at school tease them unmercifully for it, that the little people just don't understand creativity
0(0.0%)
buy the school and throw out all the kids who teased my kid unmercifully
0(0.0%)
whine publicly about how harassed and persecuted I am
0(0.0%)
try really hard to live a good life, do some good, and be considerate of the rest of the world
2(13.3%)
give it all up and join an ashram/monastery/live in a cave
0(0.0%)
hire people to tick tickys for me
0(0.0%)
make sure I tick all my own tickys to keep myself humble
0(0.0%)
just plain ticky, thanks
0(0.0%)
Other (spread your wealth in the comments?)
0(0.0%)
riddler

The Monday Poll - Foodies

The first of these questions will probably work better for those who actually watch food and cooking shows, but the second is much more general.

Poll #866695 Foodies.

Food/cooking show hosts should be:

cute, perky, bubbly, 30-minute cooks who pose in men's magazines.
2(14.3%)
balding, witty, in-love with good eats, and erudite.
1(7.1%)
earthy, Southern, middle-aged, and in-love with butter.
1(7.1%)
flashy, music-loving, and prone to yelling "Bam!"
0(0.0%)
decadent, sarcastic, cynical, tattooed, chain-smoking, and well-traveled.
1(7.1%)
young, nakedly English, enthusiastic, and lisping.
1(7.1%)
prone to issuing food cook-off challenges to local food stars.
0(0.0%)
British and in-love with the F word.
1(7.1%)
able to prepare a mean ticky.
0(0.0%)
Other (whip up some comments?)
0(0.0%)

My favorite type of food is:

Southern American or soul food.
0(0.0%)
any food I don't have to cook myself.
0(0.0%)
Italian.
0(0.0%)
open a can and heat.
0(0.0%)
French.
0(0.0%)
comes in a cardboard box.
0(0.0%)
Thai, Korean.
0(0.0%)
"just add hot water."
0(0.0%)
Mexican, Cuban, Argentinean.
0(0.0%)
stirred, not shaken.
0(0.0%)
Japanese.
0(0.0%)
found at a church bazaar.
0(0.0%)
Szechwan, Cantonese, Mandarin.
0(0.0%)
whatever's on my plate.
1(5.9%)
African.
0(0.0%)
accompanied by the sound of a coffee grinder.
0(0.0%)
Indian.
0(0.0%)
dessert.
0(0.0%)
Middle Eastern.
0(0.0%)
I haven't eaten since 1978.
0(0.0%)
Filippino.
0(0.0%)
the one type of food you haven't named here! How could you leave it out?!?
1(5.9%)
Tickystanian
0(0.0%)
Other (now's your chance)
0(0.0%)